I Am Never Happy (but neither am “I” unhappy)

I am never unhappy, nor am I happy.

I am not my feelings.

My feelings or emotions are an amalgam of chemicals in my bloodstream generated by my body.

My body generates these chemicals in response to internal and external stimuli. The I that is not my brain or emotions "feels" the emotions, that is, it interprets the chemicals, sometimes correctly, sometimes not, but always automatically. This automatic response can be trained through mindfulness and other practices.

So if I feel unhappy, it is because my body is creating compounds, which cause physiological changes, which my brain interprets as the emotion of unhappiness, which I then feel. The emotions are not “I”, the chemicals are not “I”, the brain is not “I” (but I’m not going to veer into metaphysics now)

I should use the feedback and thank my brain for giving me the feedback, but I shouldn't let the horse lead the rider. The horse should not just run off wildly, descending into a cycle of emotion to behaviour that reinforces the emotion. All that does is throw the rider (“I”) off.

The rider needs to hold the reins firmly and be directed by values and goals, not temporary feedback. Where does the rider want to go? The horse sees a fence (obstacle, job application, design document, TPS report), should it avoid it? Or should the rider say “Yes, it’s a fence, let’s jump it”, and hold firmly onto the reins as the horse does its magic?